Honoring Your Aging Parents
By soundmindandheart In Uncategorized On March 9, 2015
Exodus 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land the Lord your God gives you. NASB
Many of us have parents who have aged and have begun to decline. It can be normal aging, major health issues or tragic diseases like Alzheimer’s. Along with them going into decline, the child begins to bear the responsibility for medical and financial issues. Often one child has the responsibility while the others just sit back and watch.
This is a frustrating and stressful time for the child. The roles shift from the parent to the child which can create confusion and distress. The main rule that I teach is to realize and say out loud, “This is not my Mom or Dad. It is the person who I am entrusted to take care of with love and respect.”
What should I do? What is best for my parent? These are tough questions that must be answered. When there are multiple siblings, I believe that it is best to consult with each of them often even if they appear not to be interested. The objective opinions of those not dealing with issues daily can bring clarity and support for the decision maker. I am not saying that you should not make the decision, but I am saying that the consultation of your sibling can be beneficial.
The choices can be between keeping them in their home or a nursing home. How do you find a suitable caregiver that will make your parent comfortable and happy? The main variable that I see as important is their safety and well-being. They may not like having a person come into their home, but they can accept it when they realize that alternative is a nursing facility. Communication is the key. Giving them the facts and helping them make good choices just like they did with us as children. The exception to this is of course, the Alzheimer’s parent who cannot aid in any decision making. In this situation and some others, you have to be the parent and make the decision for them.
How do you honor your parent in this cycle of life? As a noun, honor means honesty, fairness and or integrity. As a verb, honor means to show a courteous regard for them. So, what does this mean? I recommend that you treat your parent like you would want to be treated if you were the aging person. I find that the following verse confirms this:
Matthew 19:19
Honor Your Father and Mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself. NASB
If we treat our aging parent like we would want to be treated, then we honor them. I know that it can be hard and inconvenient to do what is best. It will take our time and patience to respect and honor them, but when we say the final goodbye, it will be easier because we did the right things. Also, God will honor us in our lives that our days will be blessed.
If you have challenges with your parents, we would love to help you. It is a grieving process that is taking place. Please visit our website www.soundmindandheart.com for more information or to place a prayer request. You may also call 618-203-3444 for an appointment.
May God Bless You!
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