Resolving Conflict
By soundmindandheart In Uncategorized On June 16, 2015
Matthew 18:15-17
If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile or tax collector. NASB
As most Americans, I am a huge fan of things being fair. I want to get along or to live in peace with others as much as possible. I live by the golden rule which is treat others as you want to be treated. Even with my standards, I do have people that do things wrong or sin against me in my life.
The natural reaction when someone hurts you is to go tell someone else about it. The verses that I led with shows that we are to go to the person in private about it first. This is step one. It is very difficult to do this when you are upset or even just to face the source of your hurt, but it is the right way. It doesn’t always work, but it does given them the chance to make it right before anyone else is brought into the matter. When it works, it is beautiful.
Now let’s say that you did this and the person doesn’t believe he did anything wrong and continues to behave in the same way. This is step two. Who do you take back with you? As with all things, I would first pray about who to take. As a good rule of practice, I recommend that you take one of your accountability people and someone who knows both of you. Who is an accountability person? This is the deepest kind of friend who knows all of your stuff and holds you accountable according to the truth of the Word. I believe that everyone should have 2 to 3 of these in your life at all times. Who are yours? If you do not have them, please read next week’s blog where I will address this in detail. Again when this works it is awesome. When it doesn’t you go to the final step.
Tell it to the church. What if you go to different churches? Who is the church? The first question that I ask is what church organization do you have in common with the person. This can be a common Bible Study, association or actual church. For example, one time when I was involved in these steps it was within an organization of Christian Singles who were governed by a Board of Directors. So, the third step was to take it to the Board. It worked out due to the commonality of this group. It is very rare to get to all three steps in my experience. The issue is almost always resolved in Step 1 or 2.
Why is this important today? We must be fair and loving to one another in all things. This process gives us a pathway to resolve issues through God’s direction. It does work. I find that the vast majority never get beyond step one because things can be worked out privately. The key is to go to the person who hurt or wronged you with prayer and not to anyone else.
If you want more of the Lord, we would love to help you. Please visit our website www.soundmindandheart.com for more information or to place a prayer request. You may also call 618-203-3444 for an appointment.
May God Bless You!
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